So I am writing after being idle for forever. I don't really know what to write about, maybe my on going depression with school and life, both are killing me. Therefore I swear we are living in the weirdest dimension.
I don't know why I keep finding myself in an even further state of derealization. Derealization is linked to depersionalization, and both of them basically mean that you feel like you're not real, that nothing around you is real. It's really weird, I feel like it's getting worse, I don't know if I should see a doctor about this or just try to treat it myself; the question is how can you even treat this? I have talked to a friend about this a long time ago, maybe I should do that. I can also try to talk to my cousin who is quite knowledgeable on psychology, things having to do with astral projections, and energy.
I've searched the internet and apparently a lot of people have this derealization/depersionalization feeling. What it feels like is that you're half asleep, always in a haze. It's really bothering me because I always feel so tired and sleepy that it messes up with my focus and knowledge of what is going on around me. I keep telling myself I what emotions and actions I should feel or take when being in situations. I can't keep with this I swear it's messing with my productivity and basically my life.
Depression, I swear it's back. I have gotten admitted into a good university and I should be excited to attend, but I don't care for it, in fact all I want to do is sleep and have a good life. College is cool, learning is cool, but I am not doing so well with this disorder or whatever derealization is. I've felt like this since 4th grade, as an adult its getting so much worse and I have no idea how to treat it.
Change is probably a big answer to most of my problems and questions. I need to get the hell out of where I am. I do think that will be a time consuming task. I hope I can find a way to get exposure to different things.
So that is what I am up to just trying to make my brain work and trying not to fall into depression and things like that. I just really don't know if I have the energy to turn my life around, but we all have to try.
I don't know why I keep finding myself in an even further state of derealization. Derealization is linked to depersionalization, and both of them basically mean that you feel like you're not real, that nothing around you is real. It's really weird, I feel like it's getting worse, I don't know if I should see a doctor about this or just try to treat it myself; the question is how can you even treat this? I have talked to a friend about this a long time ago, maybe I should do that. I can also try to talk to my cousin who is quite knowledgeable on psychology, things having to do with astral projections, and energy.
I've searched the internet and apparently a lot of people have this derealization/depersionalization feeling. What it feels like is that you're half asleep, always in a haze. It's really bothering me because I always feel so tired and sleepy that it messes up with my focus and knowledge of what is going on around me. I keep telling myself I what emotions and actions I should feel or take when being in situations. I can't keep with this I swear it's messing with my productivity and basically my life.
Depression, I swear it's back. I have gotten admitted into a good university and I should be excited to attend, but I don't care for it, in fact all I want to do is sleep and have a good life. College is cool, learning is cool, but I am not doing so well with this disorder or whatever derealization is. I've felt like this since 4th grade, as an adult its getting so much worse and I have no idea how to treat it.
Change is probably a big answer to most of my problems and questions. I need to get the hell out of where I am. I do think that will be a time consuming task. I hope I can find a way to get exposure to different things.
So that is what I am up to just trying to make my brain work and trying not to fall into depression and things like that. I just really don't know if I have the energy to turn my life around, but we all have to try.
