The Immersion of Scotland

Kinda confused about going to Glasgow this September ‘16 vs. next September '17. I was supposed to have gone last September but there was some problem with the registration system.

Right now at this point I feel like I’m being pressured into going to Glasgow. I know last year it was a dream of mine to go, now I feel like it’s turned into something that people have taken from me and turned it into a duty for me to go. I don’t feel mentally stable to go right now. I want to go, but I’ve made the university delay my entry for a year, and I don’t know if that’s a one time thing that they can do, or if I can have them delay again. So I have literally no idea what to do.

I feel like I’m dying again. I’ve been feeling depressed. I know school is impossible to attend while having a mental illness. It’s like an anchor just weighing you down. I don’t know what to do. My dream is dead.

I am thinking right now about going to Glasgow, and I feel pressured. My fuel is will power, and being depressed drains me of it. Happiness is what I strive for, but how can I change my way of thinking? I am an extreme realist and an extreme dreamer. I'd like to think that everyone finds happiness sooner or later. But my realistic view shows me that because of the way I am I might not get the happiness that I want. But I like the way I am. I like making people happy, I love to make people laugh and if I can help get someone out of feeling gloomy then my god you bet I will help.