Unknown

Why the hell am I keeping myself alive for something that has a low chance of happening?

I can feel my soul die as I age. I’ve become bleak and unmoved by situations that are known to cause emotional and physical responses. For a while I thought the state of being unresponsive to such things would be a blessing. Now I see it’s hell. What point is there to living if one cannot feel? My appreciation towards the arts and music have left me. If I have not that, I have nothing. That’s it, that’s all I have… god why? I can’t go down depression again, that shit doesn’t let you move at all.

There is no point to life in all actuality. We are just temps, filled with all these dreams  and troubles. Fucking regulated by government to fit into social norms. Then we mingle with other people. It’s all downhill from there because when you start to open your eyes, you see that your life is shit, and that you will probably end up unhappy, because the chances of finding or maintaining happiness are so low.

What’s the remedy for keeping yourself alive? Perhaps it’s experience, trying out things that you haven’t; keeping the mind stimulated, interested and curious.
Perhaps.
Perhaps it’s quite frowned upon to desire such things as stimuli. There has always been a list on how to live ones life that isn’t gender biased. It prevents things like following ones dreams. In fact puts shame on people who do try to, calls them dreamers and unrealistic people.

In all fact, am a bored soul, tired of being able to read people. I need something to prove me wrong. Do trust me that I’ve tried different approaches to people. I believe in equality, comfort and understanding. In opposite to bashing, killing and hatred.

This is not a cry for help. I like to call it a form of expression, a release of mentality, strand of hope, a cry for life.