I know somewhat what to Do

     So today was alright, it hailed over here in California which I haven't seen in 6 years. I have been listening to my favorite classical music. And well have concluded that I want to be happy. You know life is short and all. I want to fall in love, and live the life I have imagined. I am just stuck in a dark place right now you know. But I think once this semester is over I'll be free. I am just tired of that one "friend" who always wants to do what I am doing. Sometimes shes cool but most of the time I don't know. But I already know not to trust anyone. Unless they prove themselves trustworthy. That doesn't mean that I will not talk to them or hate them until they do prove themselves it just means you won't be a close person to me. Well right now today I found this one song that I have been looking for for a couple of years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=h_yNv0J0A9g < this is the link. Its a great song. I also watched a film with Ethan Hawk in it, a romance film which took place in Vienna. A lovely place which I hope to visit.

    On the topic of travel. I want to go to Europe so badly next year because this year my parents have said that we are going to Las Vegas and Mexico. But since I am finishing school early so I get the spring '14 semester all to my self including the summer. So in the spring I hope to go to Europe, I am not sure what part of Europe but somewhere. Perhaps Vienna or Amsterdam. But we'll see then. I don't mind going alone to Europe but I am sure that my parents won't let me. I want to go to Paris again. What a beautiful city that was, it was truly magical when I went, there was something magical in the air over there which is why I want to move to Europe when I am done with school. That is a goal that I hope to achieve, that I will achieve. My future, I want it all, the love, the travel, the perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect husband, the perfect job, everything. So I am excited for the future. I am also a bit scared because you can't be certain what will happen you could only hope and try to steer your future into the way you want it to be. So I will do that.

     About driving, my word I am not good. I will continue to practice though and hopefully which is essential I will get my drivers licence. I have so many things to do and I am not even doing any of them. My hands are cold I would type faster but my fingers are freezing. When is it gonna get better over here in Cali. I do like the cold weather but not during the night. I wish I would play a stringed instrument like the violin, viola or cello. I will take a class to learn how to play the violin in the fall, so I am very excited for that to come up. I also hope to be better at guitar and piano. Ah! I have to read for physiology and do my chemistry homework. I need to get those A's so I must redeem myself completely. God help me, even though I deserve nothing no life nothing. I do hope to loose weight this year my goal is 30 lbs, that way I could fit in my old clothing and into the cute skirts and dresses that I am going to buy, Ah! I also have to get braces. I don't want to maybe it will hurt. I also need to get contacts that way I don't have to carry my glasses everywhere in Europe and where else I go. I do hope to become a better person but a lot of things keep getting in my way, and we all know that I am weak, so I fall fast in temptation, so therefore I think I need to start going to church again and get a support group there which would be the church of course. But the church has a lot of drama that comes along with it that's why I am a little hesitant towards attending. After all I do have a lot to fill if I do attend. So loosing weight, getting my teeth straight, my hair pretty, my contacts and getting my drives licence would put me in a good position when or if I do return. Which I know that I will see them again. Its a long story about the whole church situation, basically you have to be perfect not only physically but personally. Then they won't have much to grab you buy but they still will talk.

    So in order to accomplish what I have stated I will have to put my mind to work, not only do the want what I have listed but they also care about what school you are going to, if you work, and how your grades are. Being a well rounded person is not easy. But I am trying to become that person. So I shall study hard and get the good grades, I shall practice driving more to get my car and drivers licence, I shall do that CNA program to get a job, I shall attend CSUF in the fall to be at a good school, I shall enroll in that violin class in the fall to do my wish and I shall continue to work out to loose weight. I think the problem about loosing weight is that you are not persistent so I need to be persistent in working out and I also have to stop eating late and staying up late, and getting all stressed out. So I guess I will work out all 4 days of school and do yoga on Fridays and do some sit ups. I just have to have my future in mind, so that will motivate me to getting to my goals. I guess I should either go to sleep now or read for my physio class. But I don't want to do neither the cold gets in the way of both. Lets see what happens. Oh my a guy that I have somewhat a crush on just IMed m on facebook ooo. I'll see you guys later.