Better

     I passed the exam! I was scared when in line waiting for my exam to be graded good thing I changed those two questions, if I hadn't I wouldn't have passed. Well now that that is over with I have two weeks to do the actual driving test. I am very nervous about that because I get distracted easily. My friends have offered for me to drive their car since they have smaller cars which would make it easier for me to drive them. On another point my mom was called to work at JC Penny which is great but I still hope she gets that other job at the supermarket that way she could quit the full of drama work that she has at Kohl's. But at least she got called to work at  JC Penny again. I myself have been wanting to pursue a job but its gonna have to be after I do the CNA program at Summit College. That way I would be getting a bit of practice in the basics of Nursing and I would be getting paid for it. Plus I could use that work to show CSUF and CSULB. I really really really REALLY!!!!!! want to get into CSULB because it has the best Nursing program out of the Cal States. Because it is a good school and lots of people are trying to get into nursing programs here in California it is most difficult to get accepted. But I hope that I get in. It may not happen because I failed well got a B in chemistry and anatomy. With the new semester coming up I hope to be strong to handle the double science I have to take and the TEAS test which I hear is difficult. So I must study very hard and get rid of the people who tell me that I cannot pass. But this year, this year is going to be different. Although I keep falling into bad habits, I do hope I can over come them. I don't know if these bad habits have come because of a lack of a support group, you know friends. I don't have a friend friend, one that won't judge me or bring me down, one that I could tell everything to and would listen and I would do the same to them. 

    My hopes for this new year are first that I get my drivers licence, which I have 2 weeks to get. Second that I pass every class with an A, third that I do good in the CNA program that I'll be attending in the summer, fourth that I could be able to handle the CNA program and 2 other classes in the summer being a reading class that I really hope would be offered in the summer at Fullerton if not I'll attend another school that does offer it. Fifth that I be able to get job with the CNA certification. Sixth that the fall semester of this year would be awesome at CSUF, seventh that I get the classes that I need to take at CSUF. Eight that I be able to take a class that teaches me how to play the violin. Ninth that I pass the TEAS test with at least a 95% (which is going to be difficult, but of course not impossible). Tenth that I graduate from Fullerton College with an AA in Pre-Nursing. Eleventh that I be able to get into CSULB's nursing program by also passing their math test with a 100%. By doing all of the things I have listed I would be a good candidate for CSULB I really hope I get in. I also hope that all these things that I have written and more good things come for me and my family this year.

     Unfortunately, my aunt is really sick, she was diagnosed with cancer stage 4. Shes a really good aunt and I hope that she gets better. She was given her first round of chemo today. I am just going to leave her to God. I know that she could fight cancer if the situation in her family clears up. I know shes going to make it because she is strong and she will not let herself get beaten by this disease. We are planning to take her to Las Vegas, which is great cause over there she wont be thinking about her cancer. So I hope that we could take her. I think we are going in the summer. Lets hope I can go too, that its before I start school. Please let her cancer leaver her body I know she'll be fine if I just leave her to you God so please help her. This sucks cause last year my grandma passed away and now these news. There have been many bad news. I believe the reason bad things happen is to show a person or ourselves a lesson. Unfortunately sometimes the bad thing that happens is extreme and or leaves us broken. So I hope my aunts family changes like me and my family as well as everyone need to change. To become a better person.

My hopes were written here and I wish for them to become true. I start school in less than a week so we have to get started and get a move on on stuff. 

     I am in disgust with myself I am filled with jealousy, I hate being with this feeling! Its not human. I have also been picking up bad habits, which I am trying to get rid of. The bad things that I am doing must go, I must change. I must. I will. I will change, and I will become the person that I dream of becoming. A loving, warm, good, successful person.